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Sunday, May 31, 2009

High-tech senior pranks at high school

High-tech senior funny pranks and practical jokesIt was considered by one of the prank organizers as a "perfect prank" since compared this to some funny tees and pranks ideas, its not like those stupid stuff and shocking pranks that could hurt anyone. It was just simply funny. Though school officials weren't laughing.

Menlo-Atherton High School was delayed for two school hours Friday after senior class prank students arranged to auto-dial 1,700 families at 6:40 a.m. to tell them not to come in until 9:50 a.m. because of a power failure.

The school found it quite alarming since at first they thought that the students had hacked into the computer system to use the school's auto-dial system - a serious behavior code offense if not an illegal one.

But to there surprise it was much easier than that. In short, the students typed "auto dialer" into Google. They learned that there are companies that did that kind of thing.

Students spent some time keying in the phone numbers off the school directory. Which is made available to all students. They filed it into an electronic file and then gave it to the company which collected $150 from classmates to pay for it and waited.

The 45 or so students who participated in the planning and execution did, to be fair, run it by a couple of parents who gave them the green light, according to the graduating senior.

"It was better than Christmas morning," the prankster said. "I was up at 6:30 counting down the seconds to 6:40."

Teachers and administrators then waited for two hours after the first bell for students to show up.

District officials said the school was investigating the incident, which occurred on the last regular day of school before finals start Monday.

"At this time, it is believed that there has been no breach of the school's telecommunications or student information system," said Sequoia Union High School District spokeswoman Bettylu Smith.

The incident followed what the student said was a decoy prank earlier this month that included putting more than 30 plastic traffic signs on the roof of the school to lull administrators into false security. It apparently worked.

"We're pretty happy with the outcome," said the student, who plans to attend community college with the hope of attending Stanford University someday. "Teachers were calling it the best prank at M-A. It's another win for the students."

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Thursday, May 28, 2009

History of Candid Camera

candid camera show | funny pranks and practical jokesOfficially started out and began airing on radio as "Candid Microphone" June 28, 1947 by creator and producer Allen Funt. It was followed by a series of theatrical film shorts before it's concept came to television as a hidden camera television series on August 10, 1948.

On each succeeding decade the format has appeared on network, syndicated or cable television as either a regular show or a series of specials. Funt himself hosted or co-hosted almost all of the TV versions until a 1993 stroke from which he never recovered. Peter Funt, Allen Funt's son , who had co-hosted the specials with his father since 1987, is now the head producer/host of the format.

The premise of the funny pranks and practical jokes humor show is based on putting real people in fabricated or unusual situations by filming through a concealed hidden camera. Sometimes ranging from office humor and pranks to april fools pranks such as using trick props, a desk with drawers that pop open when one is closed or a car with a hidden extra gas tank. Victims would be told the show's catch phrase, "Smile, you're on Candid Camera." after the joke is revealed.

The show was precursor and pioneer to the more recent wave of prank shows such as Punk'd, Girls Behaving Badly, Just For Laughs Gags, The Jamie Kennedy Experiment, Boiling Points, Trigger Happy TV, and Howie Do It.

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Sexy Love Meter Funny Shaking Game for iPhone

funny prank gifts and hilarious jokes | sexy love meter iPhone appSexy Love Meter Funny Shaking Game is a new release application game for the Apple iPhone and if you love valentines, romance, funny tees pranks and practical jokes, we know you will love this awesome game.

One of the sexiest and funniest ever branded game to date that you can play with your friends, this game will allow you to test out your love and of course sex appeal with this love meter, it uses a very funny way of measuring.

If you ever catch a group of hot women at the bar, mall, or out on a dinner date and are looking for a fun drinking game, mad celebration game, sleepover party game, sync with some music game, or I'm bored game stop right in your tracks and turn on the love meter and the girls while you're at it too.

Just shake the iPhone to increase the love baby, the faster you shake the much bigger the dump of love energy you’ll fill your sexy love meter up with and feel your iPhone vibrate in your hand.

This application is also a perfect ice breaker and get ideas for pick-up lines. Perfect for sizzling up the mood and excitement to an all out party with your friends.

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

12 year old girl counterfeited Tim Horton's Contest

Tim Hortons Coffee Shop Roll up the Rim to Win | april fools prank Matthew de Jong, an 18-year-old house painter from Parksville, claimed he won a 2009 Toyota Venza as part of the chain's popular "Roll up the Rim to Win" contest, with a coffee cup he bought in Parksville in April. People across the country calling on the coffee-shop chain to do the right thing.

Tim Hortons officials said on Thursday revealed it as a fake and that the cup was a counterfeit. That claim was verfied on Friday when Nanaimo resident Pam Geddes Skelding revealed the cup was fabricated by her 12 year-old daughter, Chloe, as an April Fool's Day joke. The forgery that had the country abuzz was created by a 12-year-old girl as one of the April Fools pranks she pulled off on her mother.

She said the cup disappeared after being left on her kitchen counter while de Jong was painting in the house.

Skelding said she "thought nothing" of the cup's disappearance until she read about de Jong's claim to the car in the Friday edition of the Nanaimo Daily News.

De Jong acknowledged Friday that he did buy a coffee from Tim Hortons while on his way to Skelding's house to paint her kitchen and he said it may have gotten "mixed up" with other Tim Hortons cups that were in the kitchen at the time.

"I guess I accidently picked up the wrong cup while I was at work, assumed it was mine and that it was a winner," de Jong said after hearing of Skelding's claim. "I guess it's game over for me getting the car."

Tim Hortons' spokesman David Morelli told the Daily News on Thursday that two "outside firms" verified that the cup was lacking a number of security features the company uses to guard against forgeries and the matter was under investigation. He said at the time that the case may be handed over to the police. Morelli couldn't be reached for comment on Friday.

Skelding said her daughter used her computer to type the winning phrase on a thin strip of grey paper that she attached to an old Tim Hortons cup in an effort to pull a practical joke.

"It really wasn't that elaborate a job and Chloe's computer lacks a 'c' key so she put a star symbol where the copyright symbol would have been," she said.

"We didn't think about it again until we saw the newspaper article and the television coverage and Chloe recognized the sticker. She didn't want to get in any trouble for creating the sticker and wanted the matter cleared up as soon as possible."

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Monday, May 25, 2009

CCSU athletes arrested for popcorn fire prank in dorm

ccsu athletes arrested | senior pranks and stupid stuffTwo Central Connecticut State University athletes and a former school football player were arrested early Monday after pulling an alleged stupid stuff and funny pranks stunt that drew police and firefighters to a dormitory.

Matthew Dortch, 18, a wide receiver for the school’s football team, Patrick Robinson, 18, a pitcher for the baseball team that is still playing games for this 2009 season, and Christopher Scifo, 19, a former football player who transferred to a Florida university, are accused of setting off a fire alarm with burning popcorn after they tied the doors shut to several dorm rooms reported by the CCSU police department.

A CCSU officer responded to a fire alarm on the third floor of Vance Hall at around 3:14 a.m. to discover a “quad” of dorm rooms was full of smoke. He went to the kitchen and found two full bags of burnt and charred popcorn in the microwave that was still on.

While checking the rest of the six floor building for fire, a residential assistant alerted them that two dorm rooms on the fifth floor had been tied shut with heavy fishing string. Police also found several others on the fourth floor had also been tied shut.

The residents of those rooms squeezed through a small opening in the doors to get to exit for the fire alarm, a police report indicates. Though during the incident no one was injured, school officials said they had offered counseling services to the students at Vance Hall where the incident occurred.

“A dean did meet with all the students in Vance Hall and they are handling it well, We did offer them any services if they felt they needed to talk but things appear to be going well.” said university spokesman Mark McLaughlin.

Police connected the three to the incident through several student and staff statements. Scifo allegedly admitted that he tied the doors shut while Dortch and Robinson purposely burnt the popcorn to set the fire alarm off.

“I didn’t intend to hurt anyone just get a few laughs,” Scifo told police.

McLaughlin said federal student privacy laws barred him from discussing whether Dortch and Robinson had received scholarships to play sports at the school. Also, he couldn’t comment on their status with the sports teams after their arrest. He said the Dortch and Robinson were put on “interim suspension” while the university conducts its investigation into the case.

Judge Joan K. Alexander of the New Britain Superior Court stipulated that the three were barred from campus unless they were attending academic or disciplinary hearings and they were to have no contact with each other. They are charged with first-degree reckless endangerment, reckless burning, first-degree criminal mischief and second-degree breach of peace. All three were released after posting bond and were due back in court June 5.

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Sunday, May 24, 2009

Baldwin apologizes for mail-order bride war

alec baldwin | mail order prank jokeUsually talk shows are used as bridge for celebrities to make public apologies and not apologize after they go on talk shows. On Alec Baldwin, it wasn't the case. He had just undertaken a very unusual convention.

What was intentionally meant for just one of Alec Baldwin's practical jokes and funny pranks turned into a catastrophic event during a live interview at "David Letterman's Show".

The 30 Rock star had issued a mea culpa to the people of the Philippines and just like any other viewer who took offense to an offhand he delivered during his appearance on the Late Show With David Letterman last Tuesday.

"I'd like to offer an apology and a clarification to remarks I made recently," he writes on the Huffington Post.

"While on the David Letterman program, I joked that I might need a 'mail-order bride' to achieve the goal of having more children in my life. I believe that most people understood that this was a joke and took it as such. (A dated reference, no doubt, and another sign of my advancing age.)

"However, I do apologize to anyone who took offense."

When asked by the host if he ever thought about expanding his brood, he now regrettably quipped, "I'm thinking about getting a Filipino mail-order bride at this point…or a Russian one."

The comment resulted in a backlash from foreign ministry officials, protests and Baldwin's blacklisting from the Philippines as a result of his new found status as an "undesirable alien."
To stop the budding international incident from getting even more worst and out of hand, Baldwin yesterday issued a written apology for the remark.
Despite his apology and acknowledgment that "such anger and frustration about the issue of sex trafficking is understandable," Immigration Commissioner Marcelino Libanan today released a statement banning the actor from his shores.
"By being in the bureau's blacklist, Baldwin is forbidden from entering the country as he is deemed an undesirable alien," Libanan said.

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Thursday, May 21, 2009

Booze belly flask review

beer belly flask prankThe booze belly flask consists of a pouch that holds up to 25 oz. With a waistband that fits all adults that would really come in handy for slipping alcohol comfortably having a tight security. There won't be any spills or drips with this flask either.

Though it gives you a big beer belly look. Still, it won't matter to people that already have beer belly such as yours truly since it would make it more natural when worn. Don't you think?

Plus any adult drinker would have fun using it. I mean to show it to your peers/friends by surprising everyone while you're all watching live sports game would really give them some laughter and appreciation that money can't buy. Just the bizarre idea is quite amazing and a little bit silly yet fun.

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Janitor injured in vaseline prank

vaseline prankA janitor working for Galashiels Academy, Linda Gillie had slipped on school stairs suffering a head knock and some bruises to her body. It is thought that a Vaseline had been smeared out on the banister as a prank.

She was treated overnight at Borders General Hospital last Wednesday and is now recovering at home.

Head teacher Kathleen Angus described it as an "unfortunate accident" which would be investigated thoroughly.

Practical jokes and funny pranks like these are not tolerated and being taken seriously by the Council. An investigation is ongoing at a secondary school after the mentioned janitor was injured.

Senior pupils on the verge of leaving the secondary are thought to have been responsible as part of what has now become known as "muck-up" day.

Councillor Catriona Bhatia, a spokeswoman and education convener for Scottish Borders Council, said an investigation was under way and it was possible that some form of action might be taken.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

City parks department raises fine to dog poop

dog dirtAll dog lovers wants to spent time with their man's best friend every now and then. Most of us stroll our mutt at the city parks and other public places.
We love to show our pets the freedom of being able to go out in the public and enjoy the city grounds especially the city parks, where it seemed dog owner's chill out spot with their pet dogs.

But we all know there are risks we take when we let our lovely pets outside. Even though we shower them unconditional love, they're still animals that have no control or whatsoever to their natural being like taking a dump anywhere they feel like doing when it's coming. Especially in public places where they consider it a huge toilet place.

The Parks Department had just given dog owners $150 more reasons to pick up dog dirt. They've just officially raised its pooper-scooper fine to $250, from the current $100. To think of the fine hike during these economic crisis that's hitting us badly, it sounded more like one of the city council's hilarious jokes. Nevertheless, pet owners now should think twice of strolling their dogs on public parks from now on.

Though its noteffective until June according to Parks Commissioner Adrian Benepe which was approved by the City Council during the budget hearing this Tuesday. The higher fine will bring parks up to the same $250 fine that the Sanitation Department began imposing in November for doggy-doo violations on the streets.

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Monday, May 18, 2009

History of S. S. Adams Company

S.S. Adams Company | Exploding Cigar Prank HistoryS. S. Adams Company is the largest manufacturer and purveyor of exploding cigars in the United States during the middle of the last century. Made more exploding cigars and other gag novelty items as of 1946 than its next eleven competitors combined according to The Saturday Evening Post.

Soren Sorensen Adams is the founder of the million dollar company and evidently where he got the nickname "king of the professional pranksters". He invented and patented many common gag novelties such as sneezing powder, itching powder, the dribble glass and the joy buzzer.

According to Adams the chemical explosive variety had fallen out of favor to non-chemical device since the 1915 aftermath on which a death caused by a homemade exploding cigar rigged with dynamite. Over the history prank exploding cigars have caused many injuries.

In 1906, a cigar shop was sued by Edward Weinschreider for an exploding cigar which badly burned his hand and three of his fingers were amputated.

The intended purpose of exploding cigars is not to cause physical harm as to the butt of the joke but as a form of hostile practical joke. But eventually it did caused a decline in their manufacture and sale due to the high risk of unintended injuries from their use.

Although there have been claims that exploding cigars were used as a means to kill or attempt to kill targets in real life it is still well represented as a fictional plot device.

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Sunday, May 17, 2009

Egg throwing teens face felony charges

egg drop prankFour Shawnee teens between 18 and 19-years-old, were taken to the Pottowatomie County jail after they were caught throwing eggs at cars and they now face serious felony charges for what they thought was just one their typical funny pranks.

It's certainly not the first time, or last Shawnee police will deal with teenage pranks. They are lucky they didn't pull that prank in Oklahoma since throwing or dropping an object, even an egg, at or from a moving vehicle is against the law and punishable.

Each of the four teens are now facing two felony charges. Robert Butler is representing the teens and thinks the charges are excessive. Butler said his clients are trying to get into the Army and this incident could hamper their plans.

"It's youthful behavior. It's immature and that's what caused this and I'm certain we will try and get this reduced to a misdemeanor, And you know with felonies pending, you can't get into the military," Robert Butler said.

One of the teen's victims said he had no idea they would face felony charges, and feels bad about that, but still he said it doesn't excuse their actions.

The teens could face up to 10 years in prison or fines of up to $10,000 if not acquitted.

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Thursday, May 14, 2009

Senior pranks gone bad at Cardinal Spellman

senior prank condomSome senior students at the Cardinal Spellman High School, a private Catholic school in Brockton, placed condoms on classroom doorknobs, bound school lockers with plastic ties, moved furniture from classrooms into the hallways, and threw papers about. Someone also urinated on the floor. It's all part of the misunderstood tradition of school senior's practical jokes and funny pranks before their farewell at school.

A group of students were let into the building by fellow students at drama rehearsal last Wednesday night. Non-involved students said between 15 and 20 students were involved in the incident.

At Cardinal Spellman, police were called last Wednesday after the drama director and an assistant discovered what appeared to be a senior prank gone too far.

“Teenagers have a hard time with stopping each other and walking away,” Brockton High School Principal Susan Szachowicz said.

Szachowicz barred the senior class president from graduation last year after a prank turned into vandalism.

“When they are in the moment, they are not thinking, ‘This leads to this.’ They know this is a dumb thing to do and still get drawn in,” she said.

As high schools across the region prepare for graduation exercises, principals are also bracing for senior hi-jinks — and hoping teens don’t cross the line from funny to felonious.

“There are certain students that think they rule the school basically,” said Armenta Pierre, 18, a senior from Stoughton. “They think they can do what they want.”

Parents also were not amused.

Last year, a group of Brockton seniors sprayed Silly String and washable paint in the school’s Green cafeteria, squirted ketchup, overturned tables and tore down a bulletin board listing to which colleges seniors had been accepted. The seniors were ordered to pay $594 in cleanup costs, perform five days of community service and were banned from the prom and other senior activities. One student, the class president, was banned from graduation because she became belligerent while serving the second day of her five days of community service.

That, Szachowicz said, should serve as a warning to seniors this year.

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Snob celebrities prank ideas

celebrity snobWe all have our personal favorite celebrities, some may be involved in the showbiz industry, sports industry, music industry, politics and etc. We all patronize them on their work and contribution. As a fan there's always a factor why we become attach or attracted to a celebrity. Most of the time its because of admiration to their physical charismatic appearance. But there are also some fans who admire because mainly on pure talent alone. Sometimes both.

We always hear the stereotype reactions of celebrities giving back their gratitude to their fans, by acknowledging them publicly during interviews, press conference, and etc. Showing up on autograph sessions, volunteering on some charity work or giving out big paycheck for donations.

Some of them are really sincere and reaches out to their fans. They share their blessings to the needy people. But there are also some celebrities who doesn't know how to show or return the favor when fans approach them during their off-career days.

So it made me wonder how we can give them a wake up call. What if we asked for an autograph and we let the celebrity use a exploding cap pen ? That would at least get us even to those nasty celebrity snobs, don't you think?

I know it's sound more of a vendetta towards their snob actions. But it's just a little way of showing that you are who you are because of the fans. Anyways it's just one of my stupid stuff ideas to get even with them. Will justice be served? I don't know. You tell me.

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Camera modified into a stun gun found at school

shocking prank | camre stun gunA stun gun converted device that looks like nothing more than a disposable camera was demonstrated by Macomb County Sheriff Mark Hackel. He sure can attest that the jolt it could release is far more sinister than how it looks. One of the shocking pranks that you won't consider to apply on anyone.

"It hurts, I can tell you that," Hackel said today.

The only signs that the camera had been altered were black electrical tape wrapped around part of the body and two small metal prongs, which emitted the shock when pressed against something.

The makeshift stun gun was found Monday at Dakota High School in Macomb Township, where an 18-year-old student zapped willing friends as a joke. Word got to school administrators, who confronted the student and confiscated the device.

Macomb County deputies tracked the device back to a 13-year-old who learned how to make it on The 13-year-old had made several of the devices by the time he was tracked down, Hackel said. The teen's parents didn't know he'd been making them and "weren't very happy," he said.

Though neither student meant to cause real harm. Both teens could face felony and misdemeanor charges first for having an electronic weapon, then for bringing it near school property, the sheriff said.

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Monday, May 11, 2009

Two arrested for fiery practical joke

car prank | wrong carA couple of men thought they were just playing one of their practical jokes on a friend. Instead,they ended up under arrest Wednesday after their prank literally ended up in flames.

Louis Pecou, 28 and Robert L. Mitchell Jr., 33, decided on Sunday to play a joke on a friend of theirs and steal the person’s car, drive it to Pecou’s place and wait for their friend to call.

The only problem was, they stole the wrong car.

The whole affair started Sunday at 7:30 p.m. when Slidell police responded to a call of a stolen 1988 Chrysler Lebaron that had been taken from a drugstore parking lot on Gause Boulevard. The woman, who owned the car and reported the theft, did not know Pecou and Mitchell, said Slidell police spokesman Capt. Kevin Foltz.

The next day, a St. Tammany Sheriff’s deputy reported that he identified a stolen car Chrysler that had been reported by the woman.

Slidell detectives got a lead on the case pointing to Pecou as the suspect, and on Wednesday, police went to Pecou’s apartment. He admitted to police that he took the car and burned it.

Pecou told police about the practical joke, but when he got the car back to his apartment, he realized he had taken the wrong vehicle.

According to the police report, and he first thought about returning the car to the parking lot, but when he got there, he saw the police and panicked. He then bought a gallon of gasoline, put it in a gas can, drove the stolen car to a wooded area off Apple Pie Road and set the car on fire.

Pecou was arrested for theft of a motor vehicle. Police also learned that Mitchell help Pecou in the theft, and he was arrested as a principal to a theft of a motor vehicle on Wednesday.

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Sunday, May 10, 2009

High school flagpole prank gets attention, costs money

Buy Car Pranks Logan-Rogersville High School had a stack of about 30 old car tires dropped over the 50-foot flagpole and labeled "2009" in bright yellow paint. The pranksters wore black outfits and Halloween masks. Surveillance cameras didn't catch a thing. According to alumni they are very familiar with the practices of this pranks ideas.

Although no one was hurt and no property was damaged in the overnight stunt Monday night or Tuesday morning, but still there was a cost attached both in money and manhours.

"Our senior prank hit our custodians the worst," said high school Principal Teresa McKenzie. "And we had to rent a lift from Wildcat Rental to get the tires off." Probably the same lift that the pranksters rented the night before, judging from the marks left on the sidewalk, said one former student.

Most schools have had senior pranks, but rarely are they destructive, officials said. Things like chickens and a pig inside schools were mentioned. Rogersville patrons still laugh about the 15-foot-tall Fiberglas steer that "somehow" got on the roof of the high school about 20 years ago.

Fair Grove High School Principal David Hunter said they'd had a few pranks down through the years. "Unfortunately, it's sometimes part of school, We try to discourage it ... and to not put us in a situation that would cause disciplinary action that would cause someone not to be able to graduate." said Hunter.

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Thursday, May 7, 2009

Teenage Bomb Threat Suspect Was Internet Prank-Call Star

shocking pranksA 16-year-old North Carolina boy arrested for allegedly making a bomb threat against Purdue University had a secret identity as a superstar in an unusual online subculture — one dedicated to making shocking pranks phone call for a live internet audience, his mother admitted Thursday.

“I heard the prank phone calls he made,” says Annette Lundeby of Oxford. “They were really funny prank phone calls…. He made phone calls to, like, Walmart.”

Lundeby confirmed that her son was known online as “Tyrone,” a celebrity in a prank-calling community that grew late last year out of the trouble-making board on 4chan. Using the VOIP conferencing software Ventrilo, as many as 300 listeners would gather on a server run by Tyrone to listen to him and other amateur voice actors make often-crude and racist phone calls, some of which are archived on YouTube. The broadcasts were organized through websites like

A former fan of Tyrone’s work helped lead the police to Lundeby’s son after the boy allegedly moved beyond pranks this year and began accepting donations from students eager to miss a day of school. In exchange for a little money, Tyrone would phone in a bomb threat that would shutter the donor’s school for a day.

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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Hugh Jackman Played Pranks on His Wolverine Costars

hugh jackman prank ideasHugh Jackman was a naughty boy on the set of his new movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine — he kept playing pranks ideas on his costar Lynn Collins.

Lynn who plays Hugh’s love interest, Kayla Silverfox, in the film the unwitting victim of the Aussie star’s jokes.

Collins explains, “We were on location and Hugh said, ‘We think your outfit needs to be skimpier, so we found something for you to try on in your trailer.’

“There was a gaggle of men standing outside. So I go into my trailer and there is a tiny silver spandex dress, and I had this panic attack. I put it on and it didn’t fit. You could see my butt and my breasts. It was horrible. I opened the door and everybody was cracking up, and Hugh was like, ‘April Fool!’.”

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Monday, May 4, 2009

Top 10 'Simpsons' Prank Calls

Top 10 'Simpsons' Prank CallsIt's a running gag. Bart calls Moe's and asks for a phony name. Moe falls for it. The bar patrons laugh. Moe gets mad and makes vicious threats at whoever is making the calls. Sitcom humor at its finest. Pranks and practical jokes are just part of Bart's personality which is why we adore him.

1. "Uh, is I.P. Freely here? Hey, everybody! I.P. Freely!"
"Listen to me, you lousy bum, when I get ahold of you, you're dead. I swear, I'm gonna slice your heart in half!"

2. "Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz!"
"Listen, you little scum-sucking pus bucket, when I get my hands on you, I 'm gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!

3. "Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?"
"Listen to me, you little puke, one of these days I'm gonna catch you and I'm going to carve my name in your back with an icepick!"

4. "Bea O'Problem! Bea O'Problem! Come on, guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem?"
"Listen, you, when I get ahold of you, I'm gonna use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!"

5. "Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?"
"You little SOB! When I find out who you are, I'm gonna shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt."

6. "Oliver Clothesoff! Call for Oliver Clothesoff!"
"Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get ahold of you, I swear I'll cut your belly open!"

7. "Jacques Strap! Hey, guys, I'm looking for a Jacques Strap!"
"It's you, isn't it, you cowardly little runt! When I get ahold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!"

8. "Hugh Jass! Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!"
There really is a man named Hugh Jass at the bar. He takes the call.

9. "Homer Sexual? Come on, come on, one of you guys has got to be Homer Sexual!"
"You rotten little punk. If I ever get ahold of you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!"

10. "Phone call for Al! Al Coholic! Is there an Al Coholic here?"
"Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass! If I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna kill you!"

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